,
when i grasped fully that this season would be about of researching possible life changes i had NO idea that it would involve this much waiting. ahh
wednesday night after a big girl glass of wine with a dear friend Evie i realized that the Lord has placed many great things in my life currently and He has also recently placed many great options for my future in my path too. it is comical because at warp speed i feel like they are being heaped on me and that YET none of them have come into fruition or are fully known at this time... i so long to know these options a little more and to have them narrowed down.
with so many births and pregnancies around me ... i have put this all into a pregnancy analogy... i feel pregnant with opportunity and yet i cannot induce them into play... when will my water break... when will i know ... here or there... who... when...
last night i hit a wall of sorts in this process... the result was a late night walk where there was lots of praying, crying, playing out scenarios, crying, (can i thrown gnashing of teeth in there for effect)and general process of the frustration that is at hand.
today as i read my devotion from Streams in The Desert I came across this... and it helped sooth the frustration...
And then, when pressed with burdens and troubles too complicated to put into words and too mysterious to tell or understand, how sweet it is to fall back into His blessed arms, and just sob out the sorrow that we cannot speak! --Selected my friend sarah once asked me, "at what point did it not become okay to be broken?"... at first i answered puberty and then more seriously after the fall... okay or not okay i am broken and at times i will not appear to be but the truth is i am ... i am just a broken girl made full, complete, and purposeful by the savior.
